Dude, Where's My Car?

Indeed, that was the question of the day. And by day I mean week. In case you didn't know, I opted to fly home when my dad told me he could just have the car shipped from Houston to Ashburn (commonly referred to me as DC) for cheap. I figured why not, who needs to drive 1500 miles if they don't have to. Besides, I went through this process before, so I figured it would go the same.

Well wouldn't I just be wrong.

So here's the timeline. Dude picks up car from Houston last Tuesday, and car gets to DC on Friday. Now here's the actual timeline. Instead of calling me to pick up the car at 3 on Tuesday, I get a call at night on Tuesday from the dude letting me know that he's crashing in a hotel on 45. One that I'm sure he must have passed by campus to get to. Anyway, he says he's had a long night (not picking up cars I'm assuming) so he might sleep in tomorrow. I politely tell him he better get my car before noon tomorrow since I'm freaking leaving Texas later that day. He complies. Sweet, I'm back on track.

Wrong.

This would be OK if the guy was just lazy and unreliable. But unfortunately he was also incredibly stupid. I gave the dude directions about 15 times. I might point out he also had the directions sent to him a week ago along with the address. Anyway, when I told him to turn onto Kirby from 59, he became utterly confused. He was like I can't find it. Keep in mind this is Kirby. I'm not asking him to find Laboratory Road on the map or anything, but a major street in Houston. I proceed to tell him roads that are near Kirby on 59. Buffalo Speedway, Edloe, Greenbriar, Shepherd- these are all lost on him. After repeating myself again and again he magically finds the road. Good lord.

The next morning I awaken at Alana and Jenny's apartment to the busy catastrophe that is their leaking ceiling in their bathroom. As they await for service from their landlord, I await the phone call from the dude. It is a heated and tense battle of the ultimate anti-climax. Neither the landlord or the dude call when they are supposed to. But the dude does eventually call (and before the landlord I might add) and I head off to the Kroger parking lot with Jenny to meet him. I could pretend in all my liberal righteousness that I'm above stereotyping but let's be real. This dude was the living incarnation of the word redneck. I mean really. Anyway, I have to give him directions AGAIN to Ashburn. He says he can’t find it on the map. I found it in about 3 seconds. Now I wouldn’t expect most people to be able to find it that quickly; admittedly I have an unfair advantage as my parents do live there. But I maintain that if you are a truck driver that given a rather sizeable amount of time and a map, you should be able to get from city A to city B. Furthermore, if you are a city driver who fucking lives in Virginia you should know about Ashburn simply because it’s where Redskins Park is and where the team practices. But anyway. The dude checks out the car to document any preexisting damage. He spies my Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker and we exchange odd looks. I couldn’t decide if I was glad that I left it on, or if I was actually regretting it. Oh well. He takes the car and tells me I can expect it Friday night or Saturday morning. OK.

Sunday rolls around and he calls. Apparently he calls from his house. In Virginia. He felt it was OK to take an extended pit stop at home even though he was fucking late with my car. WTF. He tells me he’ll be in Ashburn around 3 on Monday.

It’s Monday and 2:30. He’ll be in town at 7.

7 rolls around. He says he’s just left from the border of Tennessee. For those of you who are geographically challenged, this means he first went the WRONG direction (south) to Tennessee, then decided much later that he would indeed move north. All while dragging my car around. Enter dad into the picture. He tells me I haven’t gotten mad enough at the guy. Because being mad at stupid people helps situations all the time. The irony of the situation made me chuckle as I looked at my dad, though I fear the humor was silently lost on him. Anyway, he has a flare for making situations worse and he failed to disappoint me yet again. He calls the guy, who’s clearly not going to get to Ashburn on Monday. Yet my Dad yells and yells, and they “compromise.” I get to stay awake until 1 AM to meet the guy across the street in the high school parking lot. Yeah that’s not sketchy at all- handing over a huge wad of cash at 1 AM in an empty parking lot. Even if you actually think this isn’t sketchy, it certainly becomes that way at 2:45 in the morning, which is when he actually got here. Luckily I gave him the spare key to my car, since after he drove it off the truck he locked the key in the car. Pure genius. This of course is all funny now that I actually have my car back. It was less than amusing early this morning. So the moral of this incredibly long story (it had to be long so you could empathize with my ordeal) is that whether it be my dad or the redneck dude- stupid people indeed still suck.

baseball mood swings, what else is new?

so I'm sitting alone in my super-single watching a soccer tape of my beloved MetroStars at 3:40 am on a Saturday night. anybody even remotely surprised?

I've actually been remarkably social in this roommate-less life, going to see Star Wars with Melissa, Matt McCabe, and Risa Friday night and seeing Kicking & Screaming with Melissa, Matt, and Lisa tonight and then playing spades. I actually kind of wish I had another week here like I normally do, instead of next week being my last week. I have to do all sorts of packing, dealing with crap my roommates left me, and of course taking my car for maintenance, as my dad reminds me every time he talks to me.

We lost Friday night in baseball, essentially ruling out any chance of us hosting a regional. Even after our hard-fought win today, which took 4 hours, 20 minutes in the longest game I've ever broadcast, we will still be on the road the first weekend of June. Rumors have us in Corvallis, Oregon (awesome for me, since I could drive there from Yakima), Oxford, Mississippi, or Knoxville, Tennessee or one of the locals (Baylor, UT, LSU, Tulane). I need somewhere where I can get a cheap flight from Yakima on three days' notice. Good luck with all that. Here's hoping for somewhere in driving range that Eric, Charles, Caitlin, and Melissa can come to.

Not that my life is dictated by baseball or anything.
Jon

Thanks...and, um...thanks again

I hate writing thank you cards. I know I should be appreciative of all the graduation cards (and more importantly checks) that I've received, but writing thank you notes is one of the most painful things in the world to do. It must be done, however, because if you don't write them, everyone that sent you something will think you're an ungrateful bitch, and even worse, your mom will nag you until you give up and say "Fine, I'll do them now!" To which she'll reply, "It's too late now; it would look tacky to send them out so late." The she'll hold these unwritten thank you notes over your head for the next ten years. Trust me, if there's one thing your mom doesn't need, it's additional reasons to make you feel guilty. This is why, a week after graduation, I've decided to finally sit down and write the damn things. The problem is that I have nothing to say besides "Thank you." For some reason, however, it is inappropriate to send out a post card with the words "Thanks a lot!" on the front and your hastily scrawled signature. No, in the world of proper etiquette, you must instead, write a note. This is easy when you're writing to your grandma:

"Hey Grams, just wanted to say thanks for the check. Hope you and Grandpop are doing okay, and I promise to come visit in a few months. Hope your arthritis isn't bothering you too much! Love, the grandkid who lied and will never visit you."

This is easy. Unfortunately, it's not so simple when you have to write a thank you note to that lady with the big hair who works with your dad.

"Dear Lady,
Thanks for the card. Even though there was no money in it, it brought me a few moments of joy, or at least anticipation as I opened it expecting a check. Of course the disappointment that followed was kind of harsh. Anyway, thanks again for the boring-ass-no-money bearing card!"

Ugh. So far I have nine cards laid out in front of me all starting with: "Dear (insert name here), thank you for the graduation gift." Even with the smallest cards I could find, and writing as large as I can, I still have to write at least one more sentence. Damn, this sucks.

Party Tomorrow Night!

Hey everyone!
We're having a dessert party at our apartment from about 8:30pm until 11pm Saturday night, so bring your folks by, eat some dessert and let the parents mingle a bit. Don't worry about coming by late, either, it's a casual sort of thing. You don't have to bring anything, but if you feel like you must, either dessert or some champagne would be great.

Jenny and I live at 19 Hyde Park, Apt B. Here are directions from campus for all of you who don't trust mapquest:
Left on Main around Mecom fountain onto Montrose.
Stay straight on Montrose until you hit Hyde Park. It's not at a light; it's the street almost directly across from Niko Niko's, so if you hit a light after you pass Niko Niko's you've gone too far.
Turn Right on Hyde Park. Stay straight for about six stop signs, (approximately, it could be more or less so don't take this to heart), until you hit a huge intersection of three different streets. Hyde Park continues slightly to the right (don't make a right turn, just sort of veer right). It's the first house on the corner, and says "XIX Hyde Park" on the top. We'll prop the front door open, so come right in, turn left, and enter apartment B. No need to knock.

Hope to see you all there!

Jenny and Alana

P.S. There may be a few "ladies of the night" hanging out around the neighborhood. Explain them away as best you can, and PLEASE don't mention them to my (Alana's) parents. There'll be more on our lovely streetwalkers when I have time later...

You're going to be here in six hours, so stop calling!

I've talked to my parents at least eight times today, for no good reason at all. Everyone whose parents are already here, feel very, very lucky. Here are my phone calls today so far:

11:00 am - Mom calls to make sure I got my hair done. No mother, I'd like to look like a hobo in all my pictures. After informing her that I was, in fact, on the way back from the beauty shop, she says, "Oh. Well does it look nice?" No mother, it looks like ass. Why would I bother getting it done if it didn't look nice? She bitches for a while about how much stuff she has to get done before she leaves town, then tells me she'll call me back because she's at the bank.

11:22 am - Mom calls back. She's annoyed because my dad isn't helping in the preparations because he had to work this morning. She's annoyed that the bank was so slow. She's annoyed that she had to take the dog to the kennel. She's annoyed that my brother doesn't get out of school until 3pm. She's annoyed that I made the Saturday dinner reservations for so late. Finally, something I can deal with, I think, so I say, "Do you want me to move the reservation up to like 6pm?" "Well," she says annoyed. "I don't know about that. I think eight is kind of late for dinner and your grandmother might be tired by the time we're done. (start martyr voice) But what do I know? Call your father at work and see what he thinks, it's his mother."
Damn.

11:40 am - I call my dad. No answer on the cell. No answer on the work phone. I suspect he's avoiding my mom's calls. I change the dinner reservation for 6pm anyway.

12:05 pm - Dad calls me back. I explain about dinner plans. He explodes. "I don't know why she told you to call me; why do I care about what time we eat dinner? She's the one who's all upset about it. Ever since she realized you were graduating she's been in a tizzy. She was going over to the neighbor's house to give them the address of where we're staying! I said, 'Shirley, why do they need the address? They're not sending us a package; just give them the phone numbers!' I don't know what's wrong with her. And this morning she..." I realize then that my father, is in fact, the one in a tizzy. I hum to myself until he pauses for breath, make an excuse and get off the phone as quickly as possible.

2:50 pm - Mom calls to find out if I changed the reservation. "Aren't you with Dad?" I say. "Didn't he tell you?" Bad idea. This sets her off on a rant about my dad. I hear him grumbling responses to her critisizms in the background. As the rant reaches its peak I pretend to lose reception and hang up.

2:57 pm - Mom calls back. I tell her I went under a bridge. Then I explain about dinner and quickly get off the phone.

4:05 pm - My brother calls on behalf of my mom. Apparently their flight has been delayed for an hour. They're getting in at 7pm instead of at 6pm. This would be important except for the fact that they're waiting around for my uncle to get in and his flight doesn't land until 7:20 pm anyway. Plans have not changed. Phone call is pointless. I tell my brother this, he agrees, and we hang up.

5:10 pm - My brother calls again. They're boarding the plane now. Plans have still not changed. Phone call is once again pointless. "Oh," my brother says just before hanging up, "Mom wants to know what the weather's like." My mother has asked me this everyday for the last six days. Everyday I tell her the same thing, "hot and humid, maybe it'll rain." Today is no different. Additionally, we have the weather channel at home, and she could have found out the weather at any point in time without calling me. And what can she do about it when she's boarding the plane anyway? If I say we're having a freak blizzard, she can't run home and pack sweaters and overcoats. I tell my brother the weather and hang up the phone.

Be happy your parents are already here.

boxes, boxes everywhere, and not a one is mine

In my head(phones): “Sometimes I feel like don’t have a partner. Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in, the city of angels. Lonely as I am, together we cry.”

So it’s Friday morning and my roommates are struggling to fulfill their wake-up calls to go pick up our wedding tuxedoes in (f#*@ing) Sugar Land. As if we didn’t have enough crap to worry about. But it’s all good, I’m sort of starting to feel ready for this weekend. Maybe that’s just morning rationale speaking, but it’s going to happen, so we might as well enjoy it.

Tried on the various pieces of regalia last night. Did they really need to make the robes so heavy? And I feel like the interchange between red Will Rice stole and blue/gray/white academic hood is a bit awkward. But at least we left pink to the music majors.

My family gets in this afternoon — both parents, my brother and my sister. I’m not really sure what to do with them. My parents have been here several times each, and my brother visited in December. And since I’m about to graduate, how much point is there really in showing my sister the campus or my room? So that leaves us to eat, explore the sites of Houston (hah!) and … uh, talk? Whatev. We can sit around the room amid various Jean family boxes and members, mixed in with the dare-I-say-formal Lewis family and a classic set of Asian parents. At least our liberal northeastern anti-Bush jokes won’t be completely lost on everybody. Ah, stereotypes.
Alright, the guys are ready to go and the nerves of my first blog have passed. Enjoy.

Sappy Graduation CD

Hey, if you want a sappy graduation CD- let me know. Here's the track listing:

Pomp and Circumstance
Vitamin C- Graduation
Lee Ann Womack- I Hope You Dance
Aerosmith- I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
REM- It's The End Of The World As We Know It
Three Doors Down- When I'm Gone
Semisonic- Closing Time
Dirty Dancing- Time Of My Life
Five For Fighting- 100 Years
Eve 6- Here's To the Night
Green Day- Good Riddance
The Verve Pipe- The Freshman
Blink 182- I Miss You
Eric Clapton- Wonderful Tonight
Paula Cole- I Don't Want To Wait
Louis Armstrong- What A Wonderful World
Sarah McLachlan- I Will Remember You
Baz Luhrmann- Everyone's Free
Boyz II Men- It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

I'll be posting soon I'm sure. Probably after my parents get in tonight. Everyone better start posting too, because I'll be damned if the people who already blog are the only ones who write on here.

Hey guys!
We started this thing so that instead of having eight e-mail chains going on at the same time, we can all keep up with each other after we all go our separate ways. We named it "Where'd We Go?" in honor of the O-Week that we all shared (Where'd They Go? Week, in case you forgot). Please post whenever something (or nothing at all) happens to you that you want to share with everyone. Also please comment on other people's posts. We're expecting to see some good blogs as parents start rolling into town and being weird/driving us all crazy, so don't let us down guys! Tell us when your mom asks what the weather's like here for the fifth time in two days even though she has the weather channel. Tell us when your dad calls Joel Mr. instead of Dr. Tell us when your little brother finds your stash of naughty magazines as your family helps you move out. Share it all with us; we're here to listen and commiserate.
Cheers!
J&A