A laugh a day keeps the weirdness away

So I've been bored and poor. Long story short, I've decided I should work at a temp agency. Yep, today I interviewed at a temp agency. Quite a bizarre concept in and of itself, but it doesn't seem entirely bad. They pay well (more if you have a degree) and if I wanted, I could keep "temporarily" working at a place I liked until they pretty much realized it would be cheaper just to hire me directly. The whole day today was a little taxing on my nerves, and here's why.

First they ask me why I want to temp. In nice interview jargon, I basically let them know it's to make money so I can afford a non-Ramen meal at least once at week. Oh, and so I can have furniture. The desk is the number one priority. Then the bed. Anyway, in interview jargon they tell me I'm probably overqualified. I panic a little. Have I made a mistake? Does this matter? How do I respond? I could laugh and seem arrogant, or say no and seem underconfident in my abilities. I'm told that she just says that to everyone before they test. Great. Nervous laughter. At this point I'm told they need to quantify my skills so they shove me to a computer.

Nothing better than a nice number to tell you just what you're worth. I take the typing test, and a test for PowerPoint, Excel, Word, and Access (which I had never opened before today). The tests sucked, since I couldn't use keyboard shortcuts or the right mouse button. I didn't even know where some of the damn commands were in the menu. And if you click the wrong command- BAM. You're stupid. I was told this was done to make the test universal. As if I'm going to work in an office that may not have a right mouse button. Or keyboard shortcuts. So I get an advanced in all of them, but seeing as how I never used the program I assume it's a ploy they do to make everyone feel good about themselves. Then they hand me some papers with basic math and word problems. I then wade through a list of 50 paired numbers and have to check the box if the numbers are the same. At this point I'm actually freaking out. I'm thinking to myself that I've been through a lot of school at this point and I have a degree from Rice. Yet chances are that I'm going to get one of these wrong. And chances are someone stupid will have a good day and get as many right as me. And then the world will see me as some fop with average intelligence because I had a mind-lapse and quickly checked that 5930941 was indeed the same as 5903941. A nice panicky laughter surely escaped my mouth as I gazed at the intimidating math problem 2 1/2 + 3 1/4.

Well luckily I was deemed "very placeable." So in a few days I'll start getting offers that I can accept or decline on a daily basis. Not a bad deal if you ask me. Of course, I was actually then told I was indeed overqualified for this. Commence nervous laughter. I shake hands and am about to leave when out of NOWHERE the interviewer is like you went to Jefferson? I usually deny this, but I figure that would be lying in this circumstance. Anyway, she's like I used to live in Arlington and only like 5 minutes away. I'm nodding and appearing very interested. She said she moved away after 9/11. She was worried that my high school would be a prime terrorist target since "the future of our country would be jeopardized if the best and brightest were obliterated in the blink of an eye." A little creepy, but clearly mainly just weird. I hope my stifled laugh/vomiting in my mouth wasn't apparent. I have never wanted to have someone around to scream "RANK" to so badly. But how did I respond? How else could I?

Nervous laughter.